No one can know
by graceviolets
Summary: "Hey" he said.  The first word he said to her in 18 months. Hey. How lame.  "Get in" she said.


If anyone is looking through the window of Noah Puckerman's bedroom, they will see blue walls and clothes on the floor and bed in corner. They will see posters on the wall of football players and rock stars and Super-Mario. And they would see him. Noah Puckerman. Eighteen. Medium height, well-built, olive skin, dark eyes. And they would see her. Quinn Fabray. Eighteen. Small, skinny, blonde and pale. They would see her, Quinn, laying naked on white sheets, staring in the ceiling. They would see him, Noah, beside, looking at her with a gaze that was filled of hurt and love and everything in between. They would see how Noah Puckerman embraces Quinn Fabray. How he kisses her mouth and neck and collarbones. How she stares into the ceiling with tears in her eyes.

If anyone is outside the open bedroom window, maybe they will hear what Puck whispers against her heart. Maybe they will. But probably not. Apparently, not even Quinn hears. She doesn't react at all. Instead she untangles herself from him, gets up and dressed. Noah's gaze never leaves her. It's hungry. It wants more. Quinn picks up her bag and is about to leave when she stops. There's hope in Noah's eyes now.

"No one can know" Quinn whisperers.

And then she's gone.

And that's the last time they will ever meet.

* * *

><p>Noah Puckerman hadn't spoken to her in two years. Well, maybe one and a half. He ignores her. She ignores him. They have some kind of silent agreement. Everybody around them understands. Don't talk to Puck about Quinn. Don't mention Quinn to Puck. He had thought about her though. A lot. Maybe too much. And he had missed her. Not just the kissing and having sex-thing. He missed her because she made him happy. And he missed being happy. He had tried to forget her. He had slept with Brittany a lot, because frankly she was the closest thing to Quinn he could find. But it hadn't worked. So he tried something else, Lauren Zizes. It hadn't worked either and now afterwards, it made him sick just thinking about it.<p>

Mr. Shuester paired them up to sing together in some stupid number. He apparently thought that one and half year was enough time for their wounds to heal. He had been wrong. Puck still felt his heart twinge every time he saw her. And now he supposed to hold her hand, lift her up and sing at the same time.

She didn't look at him. She wore the same blue slacks and white top as the other girls, but she looked better. Effortlessly beautiful with her hair in a bun and her face clean from make-up. The song started. Rachel sung. Quinn took his hand, it was part of the number. He couldn't think straight and when his part, his two sentences, he couldn't remember then. He just stood there, holding Quinn's hand and feeling miserable.

"Let's just do it again" Mr. Shue said.

He nodded and stole a look at Quinn. She looked annoyed. Irritated. Bothered. He looked away.

He wanted her. It was as easy as that. He wanted her in every way. He wanted her naked on his bed. He wanted her screaming his name and clawing his back. He wanted her love him again. In both ways. That's why he couldn't focus. Who can blame a teenage boy for that?

…

He stopped in his tracks as he spotted her, sitting in the hood of his truck, filing her nails. She was wearing her cheerleading uniform, her hair damp from sweat. He made himself approach her.

"Hey" he said.

The first word he said to her in 18 months. _Hey_. How lame.

"Get in" she said.

He stared at her for almost a minute before he unlocked the car and got in. She did the same.

"Drive" she ordered.

"Where?" he asked.

"Anywhere."

He kissed every salty sweat drop off her body. He kissed her stomach, the fading stretch marks, her inner thighs. She moaned and made him kiss her lips. It dawned on him. She wanted him too. She hadn't been unaffected by their encounter in Glee Club. That's why they lay, on their back, on the cold ground, naked. That's why she had picked up a packet of condoms from her bag. That's why she had gotten undressed before him. She wanted him too. Maybe not in every way. But in this way, and that was good enough.

"Am I the only one?" he asked against her skin.

"What do you think?" she snapped.

He didn't know. But he didn't ask again. He wanted to be the only one she had ever slept with. But he didn't know. You never knew with Quinn.

When night came, they huddled in back of his truck. He warmed her up. She made him forget about every other girl he had ever been with. Her face was full of emotion for once. Her eyes gleamed. Her mouth opened and closed as he was inside her. This was the Quinn he had fallen in love with.

"I'll love you forever" he whispered against her heart.

She probably hadn't heard. She didn't say it back. Instead, she got up, put on her clothes and ordered him to drive her home.

As they reached her porch, she turned to him.

"No one can know" she whispered, her eyes cold again.

He nodded. What else could he do?

…

The next day she ignored him again. Not even a look. Not even a hint that they had made love last night. Several times. Puck wanted to shake her, to tell her to wake up and love him. But he didn't.

…

"Close the blinds" she ordered.

He did.

"When is your mother coming home?" she asked.

"Seven. I'm sure she'll like you to stay and have din…"

"No" Quinn interrupted him.

She unzipped her dress and Puck forgot about his mother. He peeled of her panties. Unhooked her bra. He carried to the bed. He kissed every part of her skins that he could reach. She whimpered and moaned and kissed him back.

"What's the time?" she asked hoarsely.

"It's only five."

"Good" she whispered. "Good."

At 6:30, she made an attempt to leave. He wouldn't let her.

"Just once more" he begged

She let him.

"Make it quick" she snapped.

But then her face went soft and her skin tingly and her breath ragged.

"I will love you forever" Puck whispered against her damp skin.

She wrestled herself free.

"No one can know" she said.

He nodded. He knew the routine now.

…

He did want to tell people. He wanted to tell someone that Quinn spoke to him again. She didn't say much. Just ordered him around and made him promise not to tell anyone. But when she moaned his name, it was worth it, all of it.

He wanted to be able to hold her hand in the hallways. To kiss her in public. To stay the night in her huge bed with Christ looking down on them. But no. Everything was secret. She even took the condom wrappers with her, so that she wouldn't leave a trace.

He loved her so much. It ached inside him. Maybe she loved him too. In her own special way. Maybe not. He didn't know. But he did know that she wasn't seeing anyone else. And that she clung to him in bed. And that she never told him to shut up when he told her that he loved her. That was enough for now.

…

But now didn't last long. Senior year came to an end. Puck hadn't even applied to college. He had got a job in Burt's shop. He was staying in Lima. He always thought, stupidly enough, that Quinn would do the same. It was from Finn he heard that she had gotten into Stanford and was leaving the day after graduation.

"You're going to leave" he told her.

She lay panting next to him, her hands around his waist.

"Yes" she said simply.

"Were you planning on ever telling me?" he asked.

"No."

He felt pain shoot through him.

"Why not?"

"I didn't know how."

He stared into her hazel eyes. They were full of tears. He kissed her.

"I will love you forever" he whispered against her lips.

She kissed him back but didn't reply.

As he was leaving, she took his arm.

"I know" he said quietly. "No one can know.

She nodded.

And then she left.

…

Puck ripped off Quinn's pretty graduation dress. He didn't slow down until she was under him, on his bed, screaming his name. Their diplomas lay in a heap on the floor. The air was thick. She cried the entire time. He kissed every tear away. He wanted to say something. Something like, _this doesn't have to be the end _or _we'll keep in touch_. But he knew it would only make her close up and be cold again. It was their last night. He wasn't going to ruin it.

He kissed her shoulder and began to stroke her skin again. Her body reacted with his. His put his face close to her heart and whispered, for the last time.  
>"I will love you forever."<p>

Around ten, she untangled herself from him. She picked up diploma and got dressed. She didn't look at him. He stared at her. He would need a mental image of her. Something he could hold on to. He doubted anything in the world was as beautiful as Quinn in the moonlight.

"No one" she began, her voice cracking. "No one can know."

He nodded.

The door slammed behind her. He watched her from the window as she drove off. He could see her sobbing.

…

Puck stuck to his word. He never told anyone about his affair with Quinn his senior year. But he never stopped loving her either.


End file.
